Should i date someone with breast cancer


It’s probably best to tell the man you had breast cancer before you go on the date. If he doesn’t want to go out after you tell him, he’s not good enough to be in your life. The single women in WebMD’s breast cancer community have handled this delicate task in very different ways.


What is the connection between cancer and dating?

There is one common thing between dating and cancer – both can cause physical and emotional changes that affect the energy and interest in relationships in one way or another. For singles who are/were dealing with cancer, dating is often a terrifying step to do in their lives. But it is a step which has to be done.

Should you talk about cancer on a first date?

But if you are dating a person who went through the hell of fighting any kind of cancer, this topic will be brought up sooner or later. Some people are open to talk about it on a first date, others are not ready to talk about it at all. Anyway, it cannot be hidden forever.

Are there any dating apps just for cancer survivors?

Although there are some dating apps just for cancer survivors, it is most likely that you will find a lot of them on Tinder and other popular dating apps. They are not hiding, they just might not describe themselves as cancer-warriors on their dating profiles. Some of them might do that as well, so don’t be scared away by this courage.

How do I tell my partner that I have cancer?

You’ll probably intuitively know when the time is right to tell your love interest that you have cancer. Maybe you’ll do so over a romantic dinner, or during a long walk. It might be a spontaneous decision, or it could require planning. Keep in mind that your attitude about your cancer may not be matched by your partner.


How does breast cancer affect relationships?

A cancer diagnosis imposes significant emotional distress on a substantial proportion of patients and their partners, posing many challenges for both members of a couple. Facing a breast cancer diagnosis, couples may experience psychosocial distress, which might also affect their individual and dyadic functioning.

Should I start dating someone with cancer?

Deciding about when to start dating after a cancer diagnosis is a personal choice. Single people with cancer need to make their own decision about this. Some people might think dating will help them feel “normal” and going out helps them keep their mind off issues related to their cancer.

How do you date a breast cancer survivor?

Find a friend. The first rule in dating after breast cancer is to make sure your partner cares about you as a friend before you reveal more than you’re comfortable with.Practice. … Be honest. … Put yourself in a potential partner’s place. … Move on from a person who can’t cope with the knowledge of your breast cancer.

How does breast cancer affect intimacy?

The breast cancer experience slows down your body. It takes longer to do lots of things, including getting interested in and starting and finishing sexual intercourse. Sex may be uncomfortable or even painful if you’ve been thrown into sudden-onset menopause. No surprise that you tend to have less sex, for now.

Can a relationship survive cancer?

In most cases, couples draw closer during the cancer journey and come through the experience with their relationship intact. This is important because studies show that being in a close relationship can dramatically improve patient outcomes.

Should I marry someone with cancer?

(Reuters Health) – Married people with cancer have better survival odds than their single peers – and not for money reasons, a U.S. study suggests. Unmarried men were 27 percent more likely to die of their tumors, and single women were 19 percent more likely, the study found.

When are you considered cancer free after breast cancer?

The cancer may come back to the same place as the original primary tumor or to another place in the body. If you remain in complete remission for five years or more, some doctors may say that you are cured, or cancer-free.

Are you ever cured of breast cancer?

‘Cured’ means there’s no chance of the breast cancer coming back. However, it’s not possible to be sure that breast cancer will never come back. Treatment for breast cancer will be successful for most people, and the risk of recurrence gets less as time goes on.

Can you be cancer free after breast cancer?

Women who’ve had breast cancer can still get other cancers. Although most breast cancer survivors don’t get cancer again, they are at higher risk for getting some types of cancer. The most common second cancer in breast cancer survivors is another breast cancer. (This is different from the first cancer coming back.)

Can I masturbate during cancer treatment?

Some of the sexual practices you used to enjoy may not be possible after cancer treatment. If intercourse is difficult, try oral sex, mutual masturbation, or using sex toys.

What happens to a woman after breast cancer?

Along with the emotional, mental, and financial stresses that cancer and its treatment can cause, many women with breast cancer also find themselves coping with changes in their appearance as a result of their treatment. Some changes may be temporary, such as hair loss.

How is it to date a cancer patient?

Tips for pursuing new relationshipsPractice positive self-talk. … Tell friends and family you are ready to meet potential dating partners.Try a new activity, join a club, or take a class.Talk with other cancer survivors who have started dating.Practice a response to rejection, if that possibility concerns you.

What do you do when your boyfriend has cancer?

Let your partner take as much responsibility as they can for their care, family issues, finances and other decisions. Ask for support and accept help from family members and friends. Try to keep to routines. This can help life feel more normal.

How can I help my boyfriend with cancer?

The 10 tipsKeep communication open. … Rely on developed skills. … Allow room for a “time out.” Cancer can cause feelings of anger and depression. … Remain intimate. … Find time to do the things you love. … Boost your support network. … Find other couples in a similar situation. … Hold each other accountable.More items…•

How do you start dating after cancer?

Dating after a cancer diagnosisStart with honesty. … Address emotional barriers. … Address your views around sexual intimacy before becoming physically intimate. … Dealing with desire during and after cancer treatment. … Getting to know your body.

Your relationship might end

When I told my boyfriend, Rob, about my diagnosis, he very supportive at first, saying that the disease ran in his family, so cancer talk wasn’t new to him.

You might not feel sexy, like at all

On my first official date with Ryan, he drove three hours from Edmonton to Calgary to take me on a three-part date. He picked me up at my house and we went downtown to a Christmas craft show, sushi, and then a theatre play. He went all out. Even though I was having a good time, I didn’t know how to tell him I was wearing a wig.

An adventure can make you feel confident again

After my radiation ended, I decided to go on a three-week surf vacation to Costa Rica. I had ended things with Ryan; we didn’t live in the same city, and he turned out to be a jerk, so no loss. While I was walking down to the beach, I saw another tall, white, green-eyed girl with a buzzed head.

Your perspective will change

I’m still very single, and I’m not sure if that will change anytime soon. I am still dating on and off, but now at least I don’t have to hide anything—I feel secure saying, “I am a breast cancer survivor,” and then I quickly move on. Guys can take it or leave it. But I get pretty lonely.

How to make your partner feel comfortable?

These feelings will likely impact overall satisfaction for both you and your partner. If it would help you feel more comfortable, wear clothing and accessories that feel right for you. If you feel self-conscious about scars or changes to your body while being intimate, experiment with wearing a t-shirt, find lingerie that makes you feel attractive or consider keeping the light off. The more comfortable you become with your partner, the easier this will become.

Should I tell my cancer partner before he/she finds out?

If you have been disclosing about your cancer journey online such as on twitter or Facebook, I recommend you tell a prospective partner before he/she finds out from a routine google search.

Who is Elissa Bantug?

Elissa Bantug, a two-time breast cancer survivor with an extensive history of breast cancer advoca cy who counsels patients on intimacy. She is the co-director for the Young Women with Breast Cancer Program at the Johns Hopkins Sidney Kimmel Comprehensive Cancer Center

What should you expect if you go on a date with a person diagnosed with cancer?

When cancer survivors or cancer diagnosed are looking for a partner, there are a lot of issues and inner fears that they are facing. They might feel insecure and different, negative about their bodies, less sexually desirable, worried about late effects like infertility and other numerous fears. But there is one thing that terrifies them the most – a negative reaction from potential partners toward their appearance.

What is a thriver?

Most thrivers (a term for cancer survivor that is preferred by some) are more deeply loving and willing to commit and engage with others than the average person. “ It’s as if our emotions are stronger, more vibrant and more intense than before. Cancer is a crucible. It burns off the excess.

What does Megan Claire say on her first date?

However, Megan-Claire prefers to say on the first date that she is a breast cancer survivor. Normally, her dates would be curious and ask questions about how she is feeling, but sadly often they would run away. “ I’m not the same woman I once was.

What to say when someone says “you are left with the essentials”?

You are left with the essentials, which is to say, love ”. Dr. Zavaleta shared some of her observations on the ways to deal with negative dating experiences. “ In talking with my friends who are young and single cancer thrivers, if they are dating, they don’t suffer fools and they are direct about what they want.

Is cancer contagious in the UK?

Statistically, 40% of young adults diagnosed with cancer are single. Cancer is not a contagious disease as sadly some people on dating apps still may think. The sad truth is that cancer rates are very high worldwide. Every two minutes someone in the UK is diagnosed with cancer, according to the statistics from the Cancer Research UK.

Can cancer survivors be found on Tinder?

Although there are some dating apps just for cancer survivors, it is most likely that you will find a lot of them on Tinder and other popular dating apps. They are not hiding, they just might not describe themselves as cancer-warriors on their dating profiles.

Is Megan Claire a cancer survivor?

However, Megan-Claire prefers to say on the first date that she is a breast cancer survivor.

What happens if you wait too long to reveal your secret?

If you wait too long, your partner might feel angry, hurt, or betrayed once they know.

What to do if your partner tells you they have cancer?

If you’re the partner of someone who has told you they have cancer, you may be trying to come to grips with what this really means for each of you and for your relationship. Keep in mind as you cope with your feelings that it was likely extremely difficult for your new significant other to share his or her diagnosis.

Can your partner accept your cancer diagnosis?

Hopefully, your partner accepts your diagnosis and sees you instead of the disease. You don’t want your cancer to be overlooked and ignored, but you do want them to understand and accept it and realize that it may affect your relationship. Provide a realistic idea of how your diagnosis and treatment may affect them as your significant other. If they can embrace you, cancer and all, then you have probably found a good match that may last through treatment and beyond.

Is cancer a negative thing?

Cancer Is Not Only a Negative. If you’ve truly shared your diagnosis with the right person, they will see that not only can people who have had cancer date and love again, but that they may be stronger and more resilient for having been through the experience.

Can you reveal your cancer to a new love interest?

But when you throw a cancer diagnosis and treatment into the dating dynamics, it can be even more stressful. The decision to reveal your cancer to a new love interest may not be an easy one to make.

Who is Lisa Fayed?

Lisa Fayed. Lisa Fayed is a freelance medical writer, cancer educator and patient advocate. Learn about our editorial process. Lisa Fayed. Fact checked by. Fact checked by Lisa Sullivan, MS on May 06, 2020. Lisa Sullivan, MS, is a nutritionist and a corporate health and wellness educator with nearly 20 years of experience in the healthcare industry.

Does Verywell Health use peer reviewed sources?

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

What to say to someone newly diagnosed with breast cancer

When someone has recently been diagnosed or is within the first few weeks after diagnosis, there can be a lot that is unknown for everyone involved. Whether you are a caregiver or a friend, you’ll have your own individual reactions to this news. “Fear, anger, sadness — a variety of feelings are possible,” says Ms. Grosklags.

What to say to someone newly diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer

If you learn that someone in your life has been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, which includes stage IV, you may already know that this is breast cancer that has spread to another part of the body. This news can trigger anger, fear, stress, or sadness for the person who’s been diagnosed and for the people who love and care for them.

What to say to someone in treatment for breast cancer

After the initial diagnosis and as cancer treatment gets underway, Ms. Grosklags says, “in all the days, weeks, and months that follow, people will continue to need support.” Active or ongoing treatment will bring new challenges. Remind your loved one that you want to be of help, and give concrete examples of things you are willing and able to do.

What to say to someone who has finished active treatment

If your loved one is being treated for early stage breast cancer, the initial, main part of treatment will come to an end. When treatments such as surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, or targeted therapy are finished, it’s normal to experience different feelings. Still, while supportive roles may shift, you are still vitally important.

What NOT to say to someone who has breast cancer

There are many ways to express your love and support for a person with breast cancer. Needs and feelings may change and evolve over time, and even within the course of single day. Mistakes will be made and feelings may be hurt, but remember, you are each doing the best you can, reassures Ms. Grosklags. “The best medicine is love and trust.

How to Break the News

When and how you tell your loved ones is up to you. Many people choose to tell their partner or spouse first, followed by close family members and friends.

Deciding What Details to Share

Your loved ones may want to know about the type of cancer, your treatment plan, and how well your doctor thinks you’ll respond. If the cancer’s in an early stage, you may feel more open about sharing this info. If the cancer is advanced, your doctor, a trained counselor, or a support group can help you decide what to tell others.

Telling Your Kids

There’s no “right” way to tell your kids, says Marisa C. Weiss, MD, chief medical officer and founder of The words you choose will depend on their age.

How to date a cancer survivor?

Dating a cancer survivor will require you to be patient and understanding with your partner. There may be times when you just need to listen to your partner more attentively. Understand that he/she continues to deal with a storm of emotions, fears and anxieties and the first way you can help him/her through this is simply being there with him/her. If your partner feels like expressing all the tumult in his/her mind in words, just hold their hands and listen. Don’t try to talk them out of their emotions or offer immediate solutions. Merely the feeling of your company and the certainty that you will be there with her on this scary road will go a long way in making your partner feel better.

Why is it important to know your partner’s medical condition?

Yet another advantage of being informed about your partner’s medical condition, past and present, is that you will be better prepared in case of an emergency. Even if your partner’s cancer is in remission or he/she is symptom free, there may be occasional bouts of sickness, maybe as a side effect of a medication or brought on by exhaustion. And if you know what to do during such an eventuality, it will help both you and your partner.


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